Thoughts on Thought

As my practice of Spring Forest Qigong has continued, I’ve come to understand that it really is thought that I am dealing with.  What arises on the physical is an ‘out-picturing’ of thoughts and beliefs I’ve given attention to, sometimes for a very long time.  At the beginning of my practice session, just after saying the password: “I am in the Universe, the Universe is in my body, the Universe and I are combined together,” (which I say to align my energies with the Universe, a Power Greater than myself, Love – there are a lot of possible ways to say this) I identify my intention for the session of practice.  This is the moment when I identify the problem.  “Please, help me to heal….”  After that, my attention is on the Wholeness of Being, the utterly balanced energy of the Universe, generously giving to me what I need, and me receiving that energy.  I tune into the sensations of that experience on every level I can, visually, sensations of the body, and subtle sense that is beyond words.

As time passes, I am more and more convinced that the only thing that needs to be healed is what I give my attention to.  This seems like tricky stuff to talk about.  Let me jump in with some history.

From a very young age, I was told that if I was having a problem, I must want it.  The person who was saying this wasn’t really trying to help me.  S/he was expressing his/her pain inappropriately.  It was an abusive response to my experience.  It took many forms; it went on for many, many years.

As an adult, encountering the idea that our thoughts have a lot of influence over our experience – oddly enough – was not a thoroughly reprehensible suggestion.  It made some sense to me.  But, it did bump into the experiences of childhood, the confusion, the pain, the blame, the accusation of personal failure for having a difficulty.  And the idea, even in adulthood, was not very skillfully presented!  (That just said, is an example of my gift for understatement.)  I do, I really do understand the idea that what we experience is greatly influenced by what we think, believe and focus on is difficult to sidle up to.  Even if one has not experienced the abusiveness around this concept that I did as a child.  It’s very uncomfortable for most of us.  It flies in the face of how we go about living our lives in our culture.  It is definitely a swim against the current of experience and our world.  And how the heck do we deal with this idea and not feel utterly overwhelmed by the enormity of the task to be aware of our thinking?

There are answers to that question, but it doesn’t actually need to be answered.  It is something which we can approach indirectly, and by many, many methods.  My approach is Spring Forest Qigong practice, and various meditative practices.   I do things I love to do that have me focused on the Wholeness of Being, feeling the energy of it, right here, in my little body.  And when my attention goes off to something – very often a ‘problem’ – just bringing it back to the practice at hand.  This process of spending time experiencing Life at a very ephemeral level opens me to receiving everything I need, on all levels of life.  I don’t have to figure it all out.  I don’t have to come up with the right plan and make certain I put it into action.  I just need to enter into those things in my life where I feel the Pulse of Life breathing me.  I don’t have to be able to do it all the time.  I can start where I am and it will build with the attention I’m able to give it.  It’s a matter of Good, Better and Best – this is a Spring Forest Qigong concept.  We don’t have to do it perfectly.  To do it is Good.  Over time we get Better and continue moving to Best.

It would be lovely if I could tell you that now that I’ve been doing this for 2 years I’m not still struggling, but it hasn’t worked that way.  Instead, it has improved the quality of my life.  It has improved my trust in life, my health, my awareness of where my thinking is and clarified what I actually believe to be true.  Unexpected gifts have arrived or unfolded, friends, business opportunities, new medications, minerals, herbs and doors have opened that I didn’t know were there.  It has been subtle, but profound.  (That’s another blog of its own: Subtle But Profound).  It has been life changing.

May I encourage you to use what is in your life that brings you to an awareness of your connection with the Bigger Picture, the Universe, God (oh, here we go again, the potential words are too many to list).  Use it daily.  Find little ways to return to it throughout the day, just to touch in for a second.

If you don’t have such a thing in your life, I offer you this:

Imagine your body standing before you.  You (the true wisdom of your being) are holding the corner of a sheet of light that shimmers with vibrating waves that are perfectly created to bring you into alignment with Love’s Perfection, the Universe…  Nature (imagine her as suits you) is holding another corner.  An exalted being (I use Christ) is holding another corner.  The remaining corner is held by another exalted being.  Together you are holding this sheet of light several feet below your feet.  The sheet is of a size that allows its edges to extend several feet beyond your body to include your entire aura.  Now, you and the others present begin to lift this vibrationally brilliant sheet through your body and aura.  Lift it slowly enough to enjoy the process.  When you have raised it a number of feet above your head (isn’t imagination wonderful, all the things we can do!), join the four corners of the sheet together.  In this, are energies that are no longer vibrationally appropriate for you and they are ready to be moved on.  With the help of the other beings you’re working with tie a beautiful cord around this bundle you’ve created.  Thank the energies the bundle contains for their participation in your evolution as a being, even those energies that have troubled us have helped us.  Tell them that you are going to turn them over to one of the exalted beings present (for me that’s Christ), and they will be ‘lifted’ to their next evolutionary stage of development.  Thank Nature for holding these energies in form until they could be released with awareness.  Turn the bundle over to the being who is going to transport them.   Then forget about these energies. 

Put your attention back on the image of yourself in front of you.  Notice that as you pulled the sheet of light through your body and aura it created a column that now surrounds you, and now holds you in a vibrational state that is aligned with the Universe… and the truest expression of you!  For a few moments, just hang out with this.   Lean into the sensations of it, soak it up.

When you are ready to bring this to a close, take a few slow deep breaths.  Thank the beings that helped you with this.  Rub your hands together to make them warm, then massage your face to bring your awareness back to your body through a moment of tenderness.